Twice Burned Vinaigrette + Crunchy Greens Salad

It’s hard to find a vinaigrette that isn’t made with a load of brown sugar or honey, but after I tinkered for a bit, this one turned out nicely!  You can make it right in a salad dressing shaker (I really like this one) and leave in the pantry.

It’s worth taking time to read labels and find one that’s reasonable on the sugar. TJ had two: I ended up buying Balsamic Vinegar of Modena – 3 carbs per Tbsp, as opposed to Gold Quality – 5/Tbsp. If you find or make a sugar free version, bonus points! I’m thinking of trying this one – 1/2 carb/Tbsp!

Twice Burned Vinaigrette

 

After turning 30 I learned that spicy food can sometimes burn you twice. This is one of those. Ye be warned!

• 2 Tbsp Sriracha
• 1/2 c olive oil
• 1/2 c balsamic
• 2 tsp salt
• 2 tsp garlic

 

The Salad

• C3 – Cruciferous Crunch Collection ($1.99 at TJ) or a nice pile of spinach leaves
• Slivered almonds
• Yummy vinaigrette

Enjoy, and good luck!

No-Bake Cookies

These were a little too good. Wait until you’re in maintenance mode before you make these! They’re legal, but if you have too much dietary fat, you won’t burn off body fat. Since these are just basically chocolate butter, that’ll be a concern! 

Melt

• 1 stick of butter (did you think I was joking about chocolate butter??)

Stir in

• 1/2 c peanut butter powder (sugar free – get the kind that’s just peanuts)
• 1 tsp vanilla
• 6 packets of Splenda
• heavy pinch of salt

Once that’s mixed well, add

• 1 c shredded coconut (unsweetened)

Spoon onto parchment paper (or spread in an even later to break/cut later)and refrigerate. Voila! Try not to eat the whole batch like I did… DOH!

Keto heaven with cloud bread

I’m a staunch believer in simple keto. For example, Pinterest has a lot of complex recipes like keto cheesecake, keto fruit roll ups, keto whoopie pies, keto pound cake etc. I get that we all need a fix, but many of those recipes 1) really stretch what’s allowable, and 2) have huge portion sizes. I low-carbed for many years using recipes like those and I’d quickly stall out.

What works for me about keto is that my whole focus has shifted to simple protein and fat. A keto plate should be about your macros (macro-nutrients- fat, protein and carbs).  That means that typically you want 75% of your calories to come from fat, 20% from protein, and up to 5% from carbs.  Keep it simple and get your fatty protein + fatty non-starchy vegetable and you’re done.

Keto-allowable carb substitutes often add unnecessary carbs and can really stall you. Plus, for me, it’s harder to let go of the sweets if there are fake versions in front of me. My approach is to focus on meals, have a fat bomb if I need that little sweet fix, and call it a day.

Okay, so that said, here’s the ONE exception to the no-carb-substitutes rule. Cloud bread!

This is an exception because 1) it’s not edgy; you’re getting a lot of food for almost no carbs at all, and 2) it’s a vessel for protein and fat.

It DID break my 10-minute-dinner rule. Whoops. But, it was very easy. Here’s what you do! (Original recipe is here.)

Link a baking sheet with parchment paper. Preheat oven to 300.

Separate 3 eggs. In a stand mixer, beat

• 3 egg whites
• 1/8 tsp cream of tartar

In a separate bowl, combine

• 3 raw egg yolks
• 2 ounces cream cheese, softened

Once the egg whites have formed stiff peaks, use a spatula to stir in the yolk /cream cheese mixture. Once compined, plop out 1/2 cup portions onto the baking sheet and smooth into 1/2-inch high discs. My recipe made about 8.

Pop in the oven for 30 minutes and it’s time! Let cool for a minute or two before you dive in.

Cloud bread is just ok by itself, but it’s fantastic on anything. So far, I made a ham sandwich (added ham and cheese to the top of a piece, broiled until cheese was melty, added another piece on top) and biscuits and gravy with scrambled eggs.

Was it redundant when I added scrambled eggs on top of cloud bread? Probably. Was it keto and delicious? Oh yes.

I also tried it with artichoke dip. The “bread” falls apart under too much pressure, so I’d recommend spooning dip onto it. Still fantastic.

Enjoy!

Lazy Guacamole

If you’re working out, you might be missing your bananas for a stellar source of potassium. I get leg cramps after running and that is NOT fun! So I try to eat avocado in some form every day.  Avocados are good fat and delish! One of my favorite ways to shovel in the avocado is by making lazy guacamole!

First, get your avocado! Sources of avocado:

• A nice, ripe avocado that’s magically perfect and ready for you (are you a wizard??? I never time my avocados right, so I have a lot of alternative ways to get my avocado!)
• Trader Joe’s Avocado’s Number One Guacamole – it says it’s guac, but it’s basically avocado. We’ll need to season it. (These come in large servings or nice little individual packets)
• Wholly Guacamole – original if you’re sharing (they are large servings) or 100 calorie packs just for you. You can always have two! Note: I don’t care for the flavor of the hot, and the other flavors have carbs, so I buy original and add my own spice.
• Wholly Avocado – same company, but they aren’t even pretending to flavor it at this point.

Then we’ll need to add spice, which can be EITHER:

• Trader Joe’s Hot Pico
• Diced jalapeños (or both, for an even better kick)

Then add: (start with quantities listed and adjust to taste)

• Chopped white onion
  • Whole avocado: 1 Tbsp
  • 100 cal pack: 1/2 Tbsp
• Sea Salt (no table salt on keto, please; sea salt, the pink stuff, French grey salt… you pick! These salts have good minerals in them.)
  • Whole avocado: 1/2 tsp
  • 100 calorie pack: 1/4 tso
• Squirt of lime juice, if handy

I eat this plain or on top of chicken, sirloin roast, etc.

Dropping F(at) Bombs

I really hate the term fat bombs. Why does food have to come in bomb form now? A friend suggested calling them f-bombs, and that’s kind of fun, so we’ll go with that since fat balls is even less appetizing.

I’ve done some experimenting and had epic fails so far with these. For example, if you’re distracted by kids running around and leave it whipping too long, it breaks down and, while it tastes great, the texture is just plain funky. Then there was the time I thought I’d pipe them out of an icing bag with a large tip and they were delicious but shaped like little dog poops. Goodness gracious.

All of my fat bombs so far are variations on heavy whipping cream (HWC) + splenda + flavor. If you buy the right HWC, you get ZERO carbs as your base. Read your label to make sure your HWC is 0. Land o Lakes and Hiland are my go-to. I don’t use cream cheese or other fillers because they have carbs. These are meant to be a boost of fat to fill you up.

Here’s what I’ve ended up with. Yield ~60.

Chocolate Almond F(at) Bombs

These come out a little more solid than the others. Haven’t figured out why yet! Still, these are my very favorite.

In your stand mixer with the whisk attachment, add

• 2 cups heavy whipping cream
• 6 Tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
• 6 packets of Splenda or equivalent sweetener of your choice
• 1 Tbsp instant coffee (you won’t taste the coffee but it enhances the chocolate taste)
• Pinch of salt (optional)

Whisk until it fluffs up into whipped cream. Then stir in

• 1/2 cup chopped almonds

Line a pan with parchment paper and use a small scoop (I use this 1 Tbsp scoop from Pampered Chef) to plop out bites. Freeze for a few hours and then transfer to a sealed container. Keep frozen.

Vanilla Coffee Zinger F(at) Bombs

These are a little softer. Just like coffee ice cream!

• 2 cups heavy whipping cream
• 5 Tablespoons instant coffee (I like the stuff from Trader Joe’s; just make sure you grab the one that’s pure coffee, not coffee + sugar)
• 5 Splenda
• 1 Tablespoon vanilla

Whip it good! Then, optionally, add 1/2 cup of your favorite chopped nuts. I added hazlenuts this last time and I didn’t like them nearly as much as chopped almonds. To each her own!

The sky is the limit for variations. For example, make mocha fat bombs by combining coffee and cocoa.

Chocolate almond f-bomb carb count: HWC=0, cocoa powder=24 (6 net), Splenda=6, coffee=0, almonds=10 (4 net); 22/60 = 0.36 net carbs

Vanilla Coffee Zinger F-Bomb carb count: HWC=0, instant coffee=0.5, Splenda=5, vanilla=1.6; 7/60=0.12 carbs each. 

Related: Snickerdoodle, Vanilla F-Bombs

 

Snickerdoodle (and Vanilla) Fat Bombs!

These were a fun accident. I set out to make vanilla f-bombs, inspired by snow ice cream last month.

Vanilla F-bombs

• 2 cups heavy whipping cream
• 1 1/2 Tbsp vanilla extract
• 5 Splenda packets

These are fun because you can use an icing bag to make little blobs. Quicker and easier than scooping. BUT, take it from my misadventures… it will not work if you add nuts. Unless they’re very chopped. I like these without nuts, personally. Beware, these particular f-bombs leave the creamy aftertaste in your mouth. I like it, but some don’t. For some reason, mixing in cocoa powder or other flavors seems to diminish that little after effect, so if you don’t like it, check out the other f-bomb recipes.

Soooo…  anyway, I started experimenting with my vanilla flavor, and now we have…

Snickerdoodle F-bombs

• 2 c heavy whipping cream (HWC)
• 1 Tbsp vanilla
• 6 Splenda packets
• 1 Tbsp cinnamon (= 6 carbs)

You know the drill. Whip up the HWC just until it’s fluffy whipped cream. Add the good stuff and stir well (I use a spatula at this point). I don’t add nuts to this one, so it’s a breeze to plop out 1 Tbsp- size bites with an icing bag/ star tip.

I hope you like these as much as I do!!!

Vanilla f-bombs carb count: HWC=0, vanilla = 2.4, Splenda = 5; yield ~60, so 7.4/60 = 0.12 each.

Snickerdoodle f-bombs carb count: HWC=0, vanilla = 1.6, Splenda = 6, cinnamon = 6; yield ~60 fat bombs, so 14/60= 0.23 carbs each.

Related: Chocolate Almond, Vanilla Coffee Zinger F-Bombs

Grilled Cheese (not the sandwich)

Some days it feels like heaven, not a diet. Accidentally stumbling into this new one was quite heavenly.

One of my superpowers is Pinterest fails. If you want to mess up a Pinterest recipe, I’m your girl! Last week I wanted to make low carb mozzarella sticks. You’ve seen them. You roll string cheese in egg and grated parmesan and then bake or fry them. I tried it. The parmesan cooked and fell off.  The mozzarella melted… it was still melted cheese, so really no complaints, but definitely not mozzarella sticks. Just a melty mess.

Even better, hubby came home from the Thunder game after some beverages and got into the fridge. I was already in bed and he yells, “Honey! Something terrible has happened!” I walk into the kitchen, and my happy little drunk is attempting to clean up his mess while the cats assist in cheese disposal. Watching a drunk man stumbling around trying to sweep up grated cheese with a dustpan and tiny broom was priceless entertainment. But alas, no more ingredients for mozzarella sticks.

The next night I was making dinner and, inspired by the idea of queso fundido (my very favorite On the Border dish in the whole wide chain), I stuck the cheese sticks right in the pan. And it. was. amazing. Oh my gosh. Call the press. It’s ridic. Here’s how.

Grilled Cheese

• 2 pieces of string cheese per serving
• That’s it.

Heat up the pan. Medium-high heat. No butter in the pan. Nothing else. Just a non-stick pan. I tried it with butter. This is the one thing that’s better without.

Pull the string cheese in half to make two long, thinner pieces. Or three if you’re feeling it. Lay them next to each other in the pan; leave 1/2 inch between since they’ll spread out. Let it get melty for a minute or two. In the picture I’ve made two, because hubby is as obsessed as I am.

Check the underside. It’s like a pancake (hey! this is a low carb blog…)

When it starts to look all golden and grilled, get your thin spatula and flip that business over. Let it get golden on the other side and flip onto a plate. Serve immediately.

Wash hands before eating because you’re going to lick your fingers.

Stuffed Jalapeños for Dinner!

These are awesome as a snack (2-3 jalapeños) or as a dinner options (5-7) with a piece grilled chicken.

Keep in mind that the proportions are approximate. I do 3 pounds at a time so I can freeze them and just pull out a few at a time.

• 3 pounds of jalapeños
• 3 blocks of cream cheese (read labels)
• 3-4 packages of bacon (regular, not thick-cut)

Cut the jalapeños in half and seed them. I use this handy corer tool and it’s delightful. If you are a wimp like me, you’ll need to wear gloves, too.

Soften the cream cheese in the microwave. Put it in an icing bag (or a strong baggie) and snip the tip or corner so you can pipe it directly into the jalapeño halves. The cream cheese needs to be pretty soft if you’re using a baggie, but it’s soooo much easier and faster this way! Fill those jalapeños with cream cheese. Now it’s bacon time!

Cut the bacon in half so you have short strips. Wrap a bacon strip around your jalapeño and place on parchment paper. Layers those on a pan (I stacked it 3 layers high) and freeze.

When it’s dinner time, preheat to 400. Place your frozen poppers on a foil-lined pan and bake until the bacon is done, which is 25-30 minutes. Enjoy the burn!!!

Mocha Almond Bites

I really, really hate the name fat bomb. They are all over Pinterest as a must-have for keto diets. But why does food have to come in bomb form? These recipes annoy me. I don’t want a cheese-stuffed pizza bomb. I mean, I probably do, until you call it that.

But fat bombs are a good idea. It’s a big dose of fat, so it’s filling. A quick way for a filling, bite-sized boost if you need a little something on the go. So we’re calling them bites, okay?

I couldn’t find a recipe I liked, so I made this up. The main idea with my recipes is to taste as you go until it’s the way you like it, so remember that, and that these are approximate quantities.

• 2 c heavy whipping cream

Whip it good. In the stand mixer. Then add…

• 4 Tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder (should be 12 carbs – don’t forget to read the label to make sure)
• 6 packets of Splenda (1 carb each)
• 3 Tbsp instant coffee

Taste. Tweak. Taste. Repeat. When you get it the way you like it, stir in

• 1/2 c dry roasted unsalted almonds

Use a 1 Tbsp scoop (I like this one) to spoon onto parchment paper. Put a single almost on top of each ball. Freeze.

A word of warning: these are meant to be a little snack/ boost. You can’t eat 5 a day and lose weight! Pop one or two on the go, but take it easy. These ALMOST break my no-frills rule, but sometimes a girl needs a quick boost!  Remember moderation and it’s all good!